A Good, Bad Day
Today was my first day of school. I immediately ran downstairs to fix my things. Fortunately, I was able to get ready pretty quickly. Being back at school again gave me such a weird feeling. As I walked down the hallway I felt a tingling sensation run up my back. Some people were laughing in a nearby classroom but, I had no idea what was going on. I made my way to homeroom and found that the door was opened and there it was. I was back in class again and I soon realized that I had forgotten to put my pants on.
I really like your story though it gets confusing in the firs few sentences. good job.
ReplyDeleteYour story is all highlighted for some reason, so it was a little bit hard to read, but I could still read it. Your story is really good, and I like the twist at the end, but it is a little bit choppy and doesn't flow as much. Maybe you could use more commas instead of periods in your story. Your story also swwitches between past and present tense, like you say 'today is' in the first sentence, then you switch to 'I immedatedly ran' in the next sentence, and ran is usually past tense.
ReplyDeleteYour story's quite funny but maybe add some descriptive language.
ReplyDeleteAgain, well done with your punctuation. It is evident that you work really hard on your writing checking it over and using feedback. I also enjoy the funny conclusions you add to your stories. Keep up the great writing.
ReplyDeletethis mite be me thinking of the rong week but you didint have likely dancer or swimming
ReplyDelete